24 June 2008

Impa crows herself silly

Impa held a baby today. Always nice: holding something that smells of baby lotion and smiles especially when you talk in a silly voice and pull stupid faces. Something that I’d like to be doing all day but doesn’t usually work out in any context other than that of Impa-baby communication. What’s more, this one 1) didn’t pull on my earrings with clenched little fists, pulling harder as the hellish pain in my ear lobe got worse 2) didn’t cry once, although I wouldn’t have put it passed his brand new daddy every time the kid bubbled in his general direction, and 3) didn’t start emitting a deafening stench from his nappy halfway through. Nice work, that baby!
*Impa keeps a stiff upper lip but has melted almost completely*

11 June 2008

Impa paints (6)


Toetertjes, 10 × 10 cm.

4 June 2008

You shouldn't have a conversation like this on the train, then.

Hello, it's Olaf.
(...)
Olaf.
(...)
From a while ago. The photographs.
(...)
Yes. Er... I thought you looked very nice, so I'd like to have a coffee with you sometime.
(...)
No?
(...)
How can I persuade you?
(...)
If I had been cheekier?
(...)
But I started...
(...)
Okay. Never mind, then.
(...)
Bye.

2 June 2008

1 June 2008

Impa saw a scary movie

I would be coming home from the cinema to a house full of dark shadows. Everything would creak and I would see things move from the corner of my eye. So I took measures before leaving for work in the morning. I left a light on. It goes against my principles completely, but I would be dealing with hordes of malicious ghosts, and what good are principles at a time like that? I drew the curtains carefully so I wouldn’t be able to see shapes move on the balcony. Shapes tend to stand outside windows, you see. And I left the covers of the bed thrown back. That way I could jump in immediately after coming home, should need be. Everyone knows you are safe from ghosts under the covers. The same goes for witches under the bed, but it wasn’t that kind of movie.

I was bracing myself for suspense in the cinema. I had a bottle in one sweaty little hand and chocolate in the other, for moral support. I was getting ready for unbearable tension. Fear and shock. I was partly absorbed by the dilemma what to drop should I have to put my hand in front of my eyes: the beer or the chocolate, but was mostly preparing myself mentally for the dark return to my apartment that would by that time undoubtedly be swarming with ghosts.

But there was nothing to it! It wasn’t scary at all. The only time I got a fright, was with a stale hand-of-the-presumed-dead-grabs-hold-of-someone-moment. Yeah, yeah, we’ve seen that one. Apart from that, it was mainly doors opening and closing by themselves. And sound effects that were so obvious I refused to let them scare me. The only really scary thing in this movie was how thin the leading actress was.

But the evening wasn’t completely lost. A Moroccan taxi driver taught me how to eat roasted sunflower seeds. The long, thin, white ones, lightly salted. Hold them with two fingers and put the tip between your front teeth. Bite them gently so they crack open. Move your hand towards your mouth and bite them several more times along the lenght of the seed. Squeeze the end so both halves move apart and take the soft bit out with your teeth. A lot of work for such a small bite, but it keeps you busy when you're sitting at home without ghosts and shapes to battle.

www.theorphanagemovie.com